Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm mmm, I don't know.
Well I've been 'fraid of changin'
'Cause I build my life around you,
But time makes you bolder, children get older,
I'm getting older too,
I'm getting older too.
This song by Fleetwood Mac depicts very well the nostalgic feeling I have been having lately as I remeniss back to years before. Before I met Carl, before I was married, before Lexi and then Kenny came swiftly into my life. As I see the seasons change, and me and my children change, I realize how fleeting these days are. Just last Fall it was just me and Lexi on the walks (with Kenny inside me) and she was so different then. I was different then. Kenny has already been here for 7 months, and he is so different from how he was before. Can I weather all of these changes in my life? How much will I miss the sweet little children gone to the adults they will become? My life as a mother is rushing past, and I can't stop it. All the more reason to enjoy all the time I do have to love and cuddle my sweet little ones while they are still little.
In many ways I am afraid of change. I have built my life around these two little ones who need me so much. But time does make you bolder, and more ready to let go and allow them to become who they are meant to be.
I can weather these changes in my life, and savor them too! But I will feel nostalgic whenever I feel Fall around the corner and see the Seasons, of our life and of the earth, change us all.